"Business is war. I want to go out there, I want to kill the competitors." — Kevin O'Leary, Shark Tank
"Business is not war. It's creation. I go out there, and I want to create a sustainable future for my customers and worthy competitors so we can create a better world together." — Kali Love, #lovework
A truly boring boardroom…
I'd like you to picture a boardroom — a typical table of leaders gathering to make a decision that will affect their entire organization. Let's say there are 10 of them. How many women are there?
If you said 4, you're wrong. We're talking typical. 2? Nope. Lower. 1? Still wrong.
As of 2022, there would actually be roughly 80% of a woman there — which we know isn't possible, but it's true. Despite women making up 58% of the workforce, only 10.6% of S&P 500 CEOs are women.
Traits, not gender
You might immediately assume that I'm saying men are the problem. They're the ones making the rules, so they're the reason work is imbalanced and lacking in mental-emotional awareness. But that's not the whole story.
The entirety of business is currently unwisely defined by masculine traits. And this is causing people to fragment themselves instead of showing up as their whole and authentic selves.
According to LeanIn's 2023 Women in the Workplace study:
- Women leaders are ~1.5× as likely as male leaders to have switched jobs because their workload was unmanageable
- Women are 2× as likely as men to spend substantial time on DEI work — but 40% say that work isn't even acknowledged
- 43% of women leaders are burned out, compared to 31% of men at their level
- 42% of women say they have been discriminated against at work because of their gender
- 85% of LGBTQ+ people experienced burnout, anxiety, depression, or another major mental health difficulty due to work in 2023
Men have also been harmed by gender stereotypes that perpetuate toxic masculinity and discourage vulnerability. Men face social stigma about showing emotions or even talking about anxiety, mood, and stress — and are far less likely to seek mental help as a result.
Men are not less emotional than women — and that's not better, anyway!
It turns out men are not less emotional than women. They have just as many highs and lows, and that is critical for great business. We now know emotion is a biological driver for intelligent thought and innovative thinking. Masculine stereotypes in business are not just irrelevant — they're holding us back.
So, the problem isn't simply that too many men are leading. The problem is that we've all been taught to lead a certain way — a way that champions perceived "masculine" traits and minimizes the effectiveness of our more "feminine" traits. We've all been taught to exclude our vivid, valid, valuable emotions.
2024 top leadership trends
Considering Harvard's top leadership trends, the workplace skills most needed right now include the willingness to take risks, the ability to provide clarity in dynamic situations, and the ability to embrace ambiguity. Harvard also highlights empathy in communication, high emotional and social intelligence, and the ability to manage conflict — skills women excel at.
Why Lead Like a Woman?
Women score higher than men in leadership traits
2023 research from Leadership Circle, based on assessments with over 84,000 leaders and 1.5 million raters, shows that female leaders scored as more effective than their male counterparts across every management and age level. The traits evaluated include relating, self-awareness, authenticity, systems awareness, and achieving.
Feminine leaders were also found to lead from a 'playing for all to win' orientation rather than 'playing not to lose,' focusing on collaboration and partnering to create the future envisioned. Harvard's Leadership study found that in an analysis of thousands of 360-degree reviews, women outscored men on 17 of the 19 capabilities that differentiate excellent leaders from average or poor ones.
A better, more beautiful boardroom… and world
The possibilities of a beautiful boardroom are currently being disabled by the masculine ideas of work and the traits we grasp at to be what society has perpetuated. We are all held back by the beliefs that work is supposed to be hard, zero-sum competition, battle mode.
My call to action for you is to embrace and foster "feminine" leadership traits in your own journey and encourage others to do the same. Bring your whole self to your work instead of leaving part of yourself at home. Be bold with high integrity. Lead with authenticity, inclusivity, and emotional intelligence. Build inspiring and motivating relationships.
Let's embrace a more humane, shared future where we create more productive environments because they're nurturing, dynamic, and inclusive. Let's all play for all to win!
Ready to build a more beautiful boardroom?
Reach out to Kali to talk about speaking, coaching, or culture consulting.